what to say regarding a death of loved one

Signing a sympathy menu isn't easy. Nosotros search for words. We wonder what would be comforting to hear. Nosotros worry virtually saying the wrong affair…

Merely even though it's not easy, it is important to attain out in sympathy. Our words can't accept away the pain of losing a loved one, but they tin go a long style toward helping a grieving person feel loved and supported.

You should know correct up front that you won't find the perfect matter to write here. However, you will discover ideas from seasoned Hallmark writers for good, helpful and hopeful things to write in a sympathy carte du jour.

Nosotros hope our tips assistance yous relax, write and share your heartfelt caring with someone who is going through a time of grief.

Sympathy Letters: What to Write in a Sympathy Card

• Condolences
• Appreciation
• Offering to Help
• Following Up
• Sudden or Unexpected Death
• When Someone Has Died by Suicide
• When You Cannot Nourish the Memorial Service
• Loss of Parent
• Loss of Spouse or Partner
• Loss of Child
• Miscarriage
• Loss of Pet
• Sympathy Closings
• What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card
• What to write in a sympathy carte VIDEO

Condolences

There are many good reasons for keeping your personal sympathy message short. It could be that the card has already expressed virtually or all of what you wanted to say. Or maybe you didn't know the deceased well, or at all. Whatsoever the reason, you can absolutely be brief and notwithstanding come up across as warm and caring.

Examples

• "We are and so sorry for your loss."
• "I'm going to miss her, too."
• "I hope y'all feel surrounded by much love."
• "Sharing in your sadness as you call up Juan."
• "Sharing in your sadness as you lot recollect Dan."
• "Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss."
• "With deepest sympathy as y'all remember Robert."
• "I was saddened to hear that your grandfather passed abroad. My thoughts are with you and your family."
• "Remembering your wonderful female parent and wishing you condolement."
• "It was truly a pleasure working with your male parent for 17 years. He will be securely missed."
• "Thinking of you all as yous celebrate your sibling's remarkable life."
• "Thinking of you all as you celebrate your grandmother's remarkable life."
• "We are missing Anne along with you. With heartfelt sympathy,"
• "Thinking of you and wishing you moments of peace and condolement every bit you recall a friend who was and so close to you lot."
• "Our family unit is keeping your family unit in our thoughts and prayers."
• "Holding you close in my thoughts and hoping you lot are doing OK."
• "Fifty-fifty though there is joy in the homegoing, in that location is sorrow in your loss. Thinking of you at this tender time."
• "Te acompaño en estos momentos de gran tristeza."

Writing tip: If you knew the person who has passed but not the surviving family unit fellow member(s) to whom you're sending your menu, information technology might be helpful to mention your connection to their loved one (from school, through work, etc.).

Appreciation

Information technology can be a great comfort to a grieving person or family to hear that others thought highly of their loved one, too. If you knew and admired the loved one who has transitioned, be sure to let your recipient(s) know.

Examples

• "What an amazing person and what a remarkable life. I experience so lucky that I got to know him."
• "What a practiced and generous man your father was. I thought his funeral service was a wonderful tribute to him and all he has done for our community. He volition be missed."
• "Your granddad believed in uplifting everyone in his circle. I was 1 of those people. And I am then honored to have known him."
• "Your mama was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to take known her. I know you will miss her deeply. I'll be keeping yous in my thoughts and prayers."
• "Celebrating the life of a adept person and mourning their passing with y'all."
• "Jubilant the life of a good man and mourning his passing with you lot."
• "Your daughter touched so many lives for the skillful. I'm grateful I had the chance to know her equally both a colleague and a cherished friend."
• "Your mother blessed so many people with her organized religion and kindness. Praying that you'll find condolement in your memories of her and in the noesis that others are missing her, also."
• "Our abuela told united states our stories, passed downward traditions and held us together in love. We are so blessed to come from her and to feel her love from heaven."
• "I have the best memories of staying with Aunt Edie as a kid. I don't think I've told you this, only starting when I was about 10, she would have me to Becker's for ice cream cones…and permit me bulldoze! Only Aunt Edie…I'chiliad going to miss her fun-loving spirit so much."
• "Nobody could tell a funny story like your mom. Remember at your graduation political party—the story about the vacuuming incident? My face hurt for a full day after from laughing so much. I'll ever cherish those memories of fun times spent with her."
• "Your mama was always doing for people. A lot of people have been blessed past her kindness and concur her close in their hearts."
• "Qué persona tan maravillosa y qué vida tan extraordinaria. Me alegra mucho el haberla conocido."

Writing tip: Need a more specific give-and-take than "good" to describe the deceased? Consider ane of these: kindhearted, talented, admired, unforgettable, fun-loving, funny, wonderful, well-loved, lovely, sweet, generous, 1-of-a-kind, one-in-a-1000000, honorable, respected, caring, hardworking, strong, energetic, happy.

Offer to Assistance

If you're in a position to help your recipient with arrangements, meals, housework, grand piece of work, childcare or something else, then experience free to include an offer to do so equally part of your message. Just be certain to follow upwardly and follow through.

Examples

• "I know I can't brand your pain become abroad, just I want you to know I'm hither with a shoulder or an ear or anything else you lot need."
• "Thinking of your family with dear and wanting to assist out in any way I can. I'll phone call to encounter when would be a good nighttime to bring over a repast."
• "You've got then much on your listen and on your heart right now. We hope it will make one less worry to know that Kevin and I volition exist taking care of the yard for as long as you demand."
• "I know this must be a very difficult and demanding time for y'all all. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. If there is annihilation nosotros can practice—from walking Max to picking up your dry cleaning, please allow u.s.a. know."
• "It'southward so of import to get your rest. I'll accept the kids for a couple of hours whenever you lot need time to sit quietly."
• "Sé que no puedo desaparecer el dolor que estás sintiendo, pero aquí estoy para lo que necesites."

Writing tip: In general, the more specific your offer of help, the better. And no job is besides small-scale.

Following Upwardly

When someone you know is grieving, you might want to offer ongoing messages of back up in the weeks and months following the loss of their loved one. Yous can send these cards to notation an occasion like the loved one'southward birthday, a wedding anniversary, holidays or any other fourth dimension when the grieving person may need extra back up.

Examples

• "It's been a while, but I know that the injure doesn't go away when the cards and casseroles do. I'yard nevertheless here for you."
• "Simply wanted to let you know we're remembering your mom on her birthday and sending lots of caring thoughts your fashion."
• "I know Christmas won't be the same without DeMarcus, only I hope it helps a little to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, specially through the holidays."
• "Hard to believe it's been a twelvemonth since we said good-bye to Noah. Couldn't allow this anniversary become past without letting you know that I'm thinking of you lot."
• "This Kwanzaa season, in that location is a new antecedent to award. Thinking of you, your female parent and your family as you light the kinara."
• "Solo quería que supieras que sigo pensando en ti y en tu familia."

Writing tip: Yous volition detect some cards specific to sympathy follow-upwards, only you might too choose to go with an encouragement or thinking-of-you card, or a blank carte with a beautiful or lighthearted photo on the cover, depending on the tone you lot're going for.

Sudden or Unexpected Expiry

It's never like shooting fish in a barrel to lose someone we love. But ofttimes, a loss that no 1 saw coming can lead to complicated grief. This might be considering of the deceased's young age or apparent skilful health or an accident or other tragic circumstances. Whatsoever the case, these kinds of losses call for additional comfort, understanding and ongoing support.

Examples

• Words Fail: "I'grand not sure what to say in the face of such a hard loss. Just want you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness."
• Acknowledging Unexpectedness: "Nosotros were surprised and saddened to hear about Mike's passing. He was such a good guy. We're going to miss him and so much, besides."
• I'thousand Distressing: "I'm deeply pitiful your family is experiencing the pain of a loss similar this. My heart goes out to each of you."
• This Is Especially Difficult: "We never would have felt fix to say proficient-farewell to someone equally special as Christina, but this timing feels peculiarly tough. Wishing your family comfort and strength for the days and weeks ahead. Nosotros'll be praying for all of you."
• Wishes/Prayers: "Keeping you lot in my warmest thoughts as y'all navigate this difficult fourth dimension—and wishing yous hope and healing when you're fix."
• I'chiliad Hither for Yous: "It's going to take time to get through the shock of this loss. But want yous to know we'll be here for you all the way."
• Ongoing Support: "Hey, I know information technology's been a couple of months since yous lost Ernesto. Just desire you to know I haven't forgotten. I'm however thinking about you lot. And I'g here to aid out, listen, any you need."
• Cuando no encuentras las palabras adecuadas: "Ojalá supiera qué decirte dues esta pérdida tan inesperada… Pero lo que sí quiero que sepas es que lo siento mucho."

Pro Tip: If everything you endeavor to write feels incorrect or awkward, then keep your message short. The unproblematic deed of sending a card communicates caring—even if you simply sign information technology "With deepest sympathy" followed by your name.

When Someone Has Died past Suicide

Losing a loved one to suicide is devastating, and the isolation that can issue from others not knowing what to say or how to support has its own sting. Making the attempt to connect is an important first step. Offering your sincere condolences without questions and without judgment.

Examples

• Loss of Close Friend: "Trey was such a dear and loyal friend. He made an incredible affect on me and I will miss him so much. All my thoughts are with you and your family."
• Loss of Family unit Member of Close Friend: "Friend, at that place are no words for something as heartbreaking as this. I wish y'all didn't have to know this pain. Phone call me any time, day or dark, and I'll be checking in with you through the days and weeks to come."
• Unintentional (due east.g. overdose): "I know how difficult your sibling was struggling and how much your family unit has been through, and I'm and so distressing this happened."
• Military/PTSD: "Your family has served this country with courage and award. You take so much to exist proud of. I hope that can bring you some comfort in your heartache."
• "It's non fair that PTSD took someone who already gave so much of himself/herself to others. It shouldn't exist this way. I promise that y'all feel surrounded by love and support every footstep of this journey."
• Young Person: "I'yard notwithstanding stunned about Ramesh. I can't imagine what such a loving family unit like yours is going through right now. Ramesh really shone his light when he was here. I loved that nearly him. He volition be remembered and loved always."
• LGBTQ: "Kai was 100% themselves, and I loved that almost them. Their self-assuredness is something that will always inspire me even equally I miss them then much. If you lot ever want to share memories and stories, I'thousand here."
• En este momento tan difícil de entender.
• Pérdida de un familiar o amigo: "No puedo imaginar lo que están sintiendo en este momento tan difícil de entender, pero espero que tú y tu familia encuentren paz y consuelo en los gratos recuerdos de su ser amado. Los acompaño en su dolor."

Writing Tips:Acknowledge that the topic of suicide is very sensitive, and the recipient may have many complicated feelings. Information technology'due south important non to share your opinions on suicide and instead be supportive of the person grieving and however they are experiencing grief.

Linguistic communication Note: In beingness compassionate toward people whose lives take been impacted past suicide, it is important to avoid terms like "committing suicide," which can evoke feelings of guilt and blame. Instead, say "died of suicide" or "died past suicide."

When You Cannot Attend the Memorial Service

Information technology's a very human instinct to want to offer condolences and support in person when someone has died. However, for a diversity of reasons—either your own circumstances or the family's need to forego or filibuster a memorial service—it may be impossible to do then. In those cases, yous may wish to say a little more in your written message.

Examples

• Wish I Could Be With You: "I wish I could be at that place to accolade your dad along with you. He was a great man."
• Looking Ahead to a Memorial Later On: "I know Kara'south memorial service won't happen for a few months nevertheless. Just didn't want to let that much fourth dimension go by without reaching out to tell you how saddened I am by her passing. She was such a sweetheart. She'll exist deeply missed."
• This Is Difficult: "It'due south difficult to lose someone who meant and then much to all of us, and fifty-fifty harder that nosotros tin't all exist together to say practiced-bye. Nosotros desire you to know we're with you in spirit—now and in the days and weeks ahead."
• I'k Here for Y'all in Other Ways: "Even though I tin can't be in that location for Tom's service, but want you lot to know I'm here to drop food by, mow the lawn or annihilation else that comes up."
• Homegoing: "There is a celebration in heaven and a commemoration in our hearts even though nosotros tin't be there to put our arms effectually you."
• "Ojalá pudiera estar ahí contigo para honrar la memoria de tu papá. Fue united nations gran hombre."

Pro Tip: When you can't exist in that location to honor the deceased in person, you might besides cull to brand some kind of honoring gesture in addition to sending a sympathy card.

Loss of Parent

It'south never piece of cake to lose a parent. No matter how old we are, no matter how close or complicated the relationship, it hits hard. And it calls for some special words of comfort. (Note: These message examples alternate references to mother and male parent simply could work for either.)

Examples

• Compliment: "Your male parent was such a wonderful human being. I was lucky to know him."
• She'll Always Exist With You: "You'll always recollect how it felt to laugh with her and be loved by her. I hope those memories will bring comfort in time."
• He Lives on in You: "The lessons your dad taught you lot, the dearest he gave, the way he cared for people…all those good things live on in you."
• You Were a Comfort: "You lot were a joy to your mother all your life, and a huge comfort to her over these past few months. Information technology'south sad to lose her, but I hope you feel proficient about the way y'all were there for her."
• Miss Him Too: "Just wanted to say how much your male parent meant to me, and how much I miss him, also."
• Loved Her Besides: "Your mom was such a adept friend. I loved her, besides."
• When You Didn't Know Him: "I didn't have the chance to know your father, but I know he must have been someone special to take raised a nifty son similar y'all."
• This Is Hard: "Information technology'south so hard saying goodbye to your mom. My heart goes out to you right now."
• He was a pillar in our community: "Your daddy was father, brother, uncle and wise elder to and then many in our community. He was much of a human being."
• Share a Memory: "Nobody could match your dad for making people feel special. I'll ever remember beingness the smallest kid on the pee-wee baseball team he coached, just feeling big, considering he made me team captain."
• Siempre estará contigo: "El amor infinito de tu mamá siempre permanecerá en tu corazón, y su recuerdo vivirá para siempre en nuestras memorias. Lo sentimos mucho."

Pro Tip: If you lot've lost a parent yourself, it's fine to mention that, merely take care not to make your bulletin more than about you and your feel. Keep the focus on sending comfort and back up to the person yous're writing to, and don't presume y'all understand exactly how they feel.

Loss of Spouse or Partner

Someone who's just lost their spouse or partner is both grieving and as well facing a huge adjustment to their twenty-four hour period-to-solar day living and sense of identity. Whether they've been sharing life for six years or sixty years, information technology's a shock to lose that feeling of togetherness in everything. You might choose to admit this in a direct or indirect way in what you write.

Examples

• Compliment the Relationship: "What the ii of y'all shared was truly something special. Y'all loved each other so well."
• Compliment the Deceased: "Stephanie was one of the funniest, nigh vibrant people I've ever met. I'yard so grateful I got to know her."
• He'll Ever Be With You: "Someone who shared so much of life with you will forever be a role of you. Keeping yous in my prayers as you lot remember your husband."
• Take Care of Yourself: "I know the days and months ahead will be a large adjustment, so please give yourself a lot of grace. Do whatsoever you lot demand to have intendance of you lot—and know I'm here for you lot, as well."
• I Believe in You: "I know it must feel like this pain volition never end. Only I believe in my heart that comfort will find you when you're set. I believe you've got the strength to come through. And in time, I hope you'll believe it, too."
• Miss Her Too: "Linda was such a terrific colleague and friend. I miss her securely."
• Loved Him Besides: "I promise it helps a petty to hear how much Matt was loved by others, too—me, for i."
• When You Don't Know the Surviving Spouse/Partner: "Even though nosotros oasis't had the chance to meet in person, I feel like I know you from the glowing way Jim talked virtually yous. Information technology was easy to see how much he loved you lot."
• This Is Difficult: "Losing the one you dearest is and then hard. And and so I'thousand praying hard for you—for peace, for comfort, for whatsoever you need right at present."
• Share a Retentiveness: "I was only thinking most Anne'south unforgettable dinner parties—particularly the one with the notorious lemon-bar incident. That was the best. And SHE was the best."
• Share What'southward True: "He held you downward and lifted you upward in this world. I hope you can still feel him and his love around you lot."
• Admiración hacia la pareja: "El amor que compartieron fue realmente especial. Deseo de todo corazón que su recuerdo te traiga tranquilidad y consuelo."

Writing Tip: For a surviving spouse who still has kids living it abode, consider including them in your message. You could mention them in your greeting ("Dear Ellen and Family" or "Love Finn, Katie, and Joe"), in the body of your message, or both. Another selection would be to send a split up card to each of the kids.

Loss of Kid

This is an especially tough ane. Every parent wants and so much to nurture, protect, and see their child grow up, but sadly, life doesn't always piece of work out that style. When writing to someone who'south lost a kid, endeavor to relax and call back that the gesture of reaching out will probably mean simply equally much as the bodily words you write.

Examples

• Compliment: "Della was such a sweet girl. I wish she could take stayed with you, and with all of us, for so much longer."
• They'll Ever Be a Part of Yous: "You'll always miss Alex, only they'll always exist with you in the memories you go on, the stories your family tells, the laughter you share, and the love you lot all agree for them. May those good things help heal the hurt in time."
• I'1000 Deplorable: "And so deeply sorry you take to become through a heartbreak like this. Sharing in your sorrow and keeping your family in our virtually caring prayers."
• Time Was Short/Honey Was Big: "Even though Maddie was with us for too short a time, she filled the world around her with so much joy. And you filled hers with so much beloved."
• His Life Mattered: "Though we only got to hold him for a little while, he brought us together and brought so many smiles. Celebrating all the days that were brighter because he was here."
• Loved Her Too: "I hope in that location's some comfort in knowing how much we loved Aya, too."
• Miss Him Too: "Missing Henry correct along with you lot."
• This Is Heartbreaking: "It just feels incorrect that you lot should accept to say goodbye to your child. Whatever y'all're feeling, please know yous're not solitary. I'm just 1 of many who want to do whatsoever nosotros can to support you in the weeks and months to come."
• Share a Memory: "Jamal was the get-go to be a friend to everyone who needed one. I was merely remembering when our class got a new educatee this jump, and Jamal made a point of sitting with him at lunch. He was a special kid."
• Siempre será parte de ti: "Tu hijo es una estrella en el cielo, y su luz iluminará siempre tu camino y tu corazón."

Writing Tip: You can conform most of these message ideas for parents who take lost an adult son or daughter. The heartbroken feeling that life isn't supposed to work like this will still apply—and the demand for caring, back up, and prayers will exist similar, too.

Miscarriage

Miscarriage is the kind of loss that you may merely know nearly if you're role of the mom's or couple'southward inner circle of family and friends. If that'southward the case, you accept a unique opportunity be a source of condolement and back up in a globe that doesn't know.

Examples

• Your Loss Is Real: "The love y'all felt for your babehoped-for was existent, and so is the loss you lot're experiencing. I hope you can exist gentle with yourself and honor whatever you're feeling right at present."
• I'm Deplorable: "I'one thousand and then sorry yous've had to allow become of the dreams yous were already cherishing for your baby."
• This Is Hard: "I can't begin to understand all yous're feeling right now, only I know it tin't exist easy. I wish you didn't have to go through a loss like this."
• Wish for Healing: "Keeping you and Keisha in my thoughts and hoping for healing to come to y'all in time."
• I'thousand Here for You: "I was deeply saddened to hear you've had a miscarriage. Just want you to know I'g here for you—to talk, to bring over a meal, or whatever you demand right at present."
• It's Not Your Fault: "Only wanted to remind you that there was cypher y'all could or should take washed differently. Sometimes these things just happen. I'1000 deplorable it had to happen to you."
• Lo siento: "Siento mucho la pérdida de tu bebé. Aquí estoy para ti, para hablar, para escucharte, para lo que necesites."

Writing Tip: It's deplorable for an expecting female parent to lose a pregnancy even when she already has children, or may go on to take others. So avoid saying annihilation similar "At least y'all already have Emma" or "You can always try over again." Those thoughts come up from a adept place, but they run a risk implying that the mom or couple should just go over information technology quickly and move on.

Observe more messages and ways to support parents who have lost a baby.

Loss of Pet

Pets are genuinely family unit members for a lot of usa, and when we lose 1, it can be a huge condolement to have others recognize how much they meant and how lamentable information technology is to say goodbye.

Examples

• Compliment: "Benny was such a good dog. And so sad y'all've had to say good day to him."
• You Loved Her Well: "From your first hullo, to your last goodbye, Shadow felt how much you loved her. She was one lucky kitty to have you for her person."
• Wish for Good Memories: "Wishing you smiles amid the tears as you call back happy times with your loyal companion and friend."
• She'll Always Be Part of You: "Trixie may be gone from your lap, only she'll stay in your heart forever."
• Miss Him Too: "I was and then deplorable to hear near Speck. I sure am going to miss seeing him when I'one thousand out walking."
• She Meant a Lot: "Our fur babies agree such an important place in our lives and our hearts. Thinking of you as you lot remember Gertie."
• Share a Memory: "I'll never forget walking into your kitchen and finding every single cabinet open and Fluff peeking out from a drawer. He was such a clever true cat."
• "Lucas era un perro tan bueno y cariñoso. Siento mucho que hayas tenido que decirle adiós."

Pro Tip: If your recipient has had to brand the hard decision to have their pet put to sleep, consider affirming them in that conclusion. Let them know you support their choice, that you know it wasn't easy, that you share their sadness simply are glad their friend isn't hurting anymore.

Sympathy Closings

A warm, respectful closing is a svelte manner to wrap upward your sympathy bulletin. Choose one of these, or create your own.

• With sympathy,
• With deepest sympathy,
• With heartfelt sympathy,
• With prayers and sympathy,
• With sincere sympathy,
• With warm thoughts and prayers,
• With caring,
• With love at this sorry time,
• In caring sympathy,
• With you in sorrow,
• Sharing your sadness,
• Thinking of you,
• Caring thoughts are with y'all,
• God bless,
• God bless you and comfort you,
• Keeping you lot in our prayers,
• Lifting you up in prayer,
• Praying for you,
• Wishing y'all peace,
• Wishing you healing,
• My eye goes out to you,
• Delight accept our condolences,
• My sincere condolences,
• Prayerfully,
• Con el más sentido pésame,

What Non to Write in a Sympathy Menu

Here are a few thoughts and phrases to avoid in sympathy cards, because they risk either minimizing the recipients' unique feelings of grief or actually making them experience worse.

Examples

• "I know how y'all feel." We all experience and process grief differently.
• "She was so immature." No need for a potentially painful reminder.
• "What a terrible loss." Avert dwelling on the pain or difficulty of the loss.
• "You should…" Instead of advice, offer condolement and support.
• "You will…" Steer articulate of predictions almost how their grief journey volition go.
• "This happened for a reason." Even with the best intentions behind it, this thought risks assigning blame for the death.
• "Sé cómo te sientes." No es bueno asumir cómo se sienten las personas. Todos experimentamos el duelo de manera diferente.

Writing tip: If you're yet worried about maxim the wrong thing, and then keep your bulletin very short. The uncomplicated deed of sending the carte du jour lets your recipient know you intendance.

What to write in a sympathy card VIDEO

Find out the simple formula for crafting your own sympathy bulletin and get some real life examples and picket-outs from Hallmark Senior Writer Cat Hollyer.

• Tags:
• Greeting Bill of fare Messages and Ideas
• What to write video guide

• Credits:
• Boosted contributions by Cat Hollyer, Linda Barnes, Allyson Cook and Suzanne Heins. Melvina Young, Megan Haave and Cindy Phillips.

Keely Chace is a Hallmark Master Author who loves reading, running and spending time with her husband and daughters. She shares writing tips in her "What to Write" series on Authentication & Community.

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Source: https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/sympathy-ideas/what-to-write-in-a-sympathy-card/

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